Your child needs your sturdy authority. Speaker: Dr. Becky Kennedy Interviewer: Chelsea Clinton Recorded: 92nd Street Y, New York A big misconception of gentle parenting is that there is no authority provided by the parents. Exercising authority, as well as many other concepts of nearly every style of parenting, are practiced in gentle/positive/connected parenting, but with a knowledge that connection is essential to the relationship and healthy development of the child. As parents, we need to use our authority to protect and guide our children when the situation demands it. Oftentimes, this happens when we need to keep our child safe. That could be from actual physical threats or obvious psychological or mental landmines. It doesn’t mean that we don’t let our children have experiences- we need to use common sense. But there are several instances where this would be essential. For example, when a 3-year-old tries to run out into the street or when a 6-year-old is begging to get a phone or use social media and you (hopefully) say no. Your child will probably not be happy in either of these instances. They may even try to physically harm you or say hurtful things in anger and frustration. That’s normal, and it’s okay. Even if they never realize the impact of what you’ve done, you stepped in as their leader and protector to ensure they didn’t get involved in something that could harm them, directly or indirectly. They will develop a sense of respect around that. And, some day, if you’re lucky enough to have the level of connection we strive for, they will thank you. They will tell you that some of the decisions you made for them were right, and that they are grateful for what you’ve done. Because utilizing appropriate authority and taking care of your kid is without a doubt one of the most vital ways for us to show our kids we love them. Share with another parent who needs to hear it! #parenting #parenting101 #connectedparenting #parentingjourney #sturdy #authority