Your child’s behavior isn’t the real problem. When a child throws the blue bowl across the room and demands the red one, most parents feel the instinct to shut it down. Fast. But as Dr. Becky explains, that instinct usually comes from our past, not our child’s present. If we grew up in homes where big emotions were punished, shut down, or met with fear, our bodies learned: “This isn’t safe.” So when our child has a huge reaction, our nervous system responds the way it always has. With yelling, threats, or a desperate urge to regain control. But here’s the shift: Understanding your child’s behavior isn’t the same as rewarding it. You can hold the boundary (“The red bowl isn’t available”) and name the feeling (“This morning feels really hard”). When we see the need underneath the behavior, we figure out what skill our child is missing, and what they’re ready to learn next. It makes us wonder: What changes when we stop reacting to the behavior… and start responding to the need? Speaker: Dr. Becky Kennedy Source: Dr. Becky Kennedy: The 5 Parenting Mistakes You Never Want To Make | Mighty Pursuit Podcast