I remember vividly when people used to inquire, "Can an individual who was raised on survival and an individual who was raised on love have a healthy relationship?" My perspective: it’s possible only if the individual who was raised on survival is WILLING to put in the work and heal themselves. It takes a lot of being patient with yourself and unlearning and relearning. One thing that I learned is, when you’re in a healthy relationship, you WILL discover how much healing you gotta do because some of the things we went through in life have left us chopped and screwed (figuratively speaking). And for those individuals who believe in their hearts that when they get the money everything will fall into place, my perspective is that money is not the answer because money does not change who you are. It just reveals who you really are. This shit is deeper than money. When Will Smith lost his cool and slapped the shit out of Chris Rock, that didn’t have shit to do with money last time I checked. My point is the proof is in the pudding that this shit is bigger than money. Something that I began doing before acting out on my emotions was, I began thinking before I reacted. Some people say, "Think five times before you speak or react," but in some cases, I found that people think five times before they speak or react and still proceed to move forward with the actions they were thinking about in the beginning. This is what you call premeditated thinking. Rather than think it over and reconsider, some people are thinking five times about how they can get away with something. For example, let’s take Will Smith when he slapped Chris Rock. His actions were premeditated: first, you gotta walk up the stairs, then walk on the stage, and then get a real good slap in because he may or may not see the slap coming. Do you see how much time Will Smith had to think before he assaulted Chris Rock? So what I started doing was, you may have to think a little bit more than five times. In some cases, you may have to see it in your mind: saying those hurtful words to that individual or assaulting the individual before you actually decide to do it. See it in your mind WITHOUT judgment: how you would feel after you say those hurtful words to the individual; see the expression on their face and how they would react after you said these hurtful words. Simply put, you want to see it like Raven-Symoné sees her visions in the show *That’s So Raven*. And then from there, you can decide whether you want to proceed with the same course of action or not. My message is never for the individuals who ain’t trying to hear me. This is for the individuals who, no matter how many errors or mess-ups they make, at least want to get it right… PS Sorry for the long essay…