When a kid’s brain is constantly getting feedback on what’s *wrong*, it doesn’t magically translate into “here’s what to do instead” - and they start to feel bad about themselves (especiallyyy Big Feelers - they’re super prone to shame). It often turns into *more* frustration, more acting out, more disconnection. But you can actually use your attention, on purpose, to get more GOOD behavior. Start noticing the tiny, everyday things: • they came over when you asked • they didn’t hit when they were mad • they tried again instead of quitting (ok, frustration tolerance!!) • they played gently with baby The brain builds patterns through repetition. Whatever gets the most attention gets the most *wiring*. So if the majority of your interactions are corrections, your child’s brain is getting thousands of reps of: “I mess up. I get in trouble. I’m doing it wrong.” But when you start layering in noticing the good, you’re building a completely different pattern: “I can do this. I know what works. I get it right, too.” That’s what builds confidence, increases cooperation, and what actually changes behavior. (And no, this doesn’t mean ignoring hard behavior or pretending everything is fine. You’re still setting boundaries + holding limits - you’re just not making correction the ONLY story your child hears about themselves🤍). Spotlight the right, friends🔦 They’ll feel good, you’ll feel good, and it gives their brain a roadmap to more good behavior🧠 Ps - did you know that Big Feeler kids often hear 12,000+ more negative comments than other kids?? If you think you might have a Big Feeler - a kid often described as highly sensitive, defiant, dramatic, and/or explosive- our free Big Feelers Quiz is linked in our bio *understanding* your Big Feeler is Step 1 in helping them thrive